I aspire to performative grownassness
Jul. 28th, 2016 07:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lauradi7dwI am sixty years old, co-owner of a house, parent of a high-quality independent person, and other signs of adulthood, but I often feel like a person who mostly slacks off and doesn't accomplish much. I step up to some by helping my elderly parents, but there is an extent to which that makes me feel *less* like an adult than like a rebellious teenager with a lot of household chores.* I remember reading the advice somewhere that no matter how much memory they lose or how physically frail they become, your parents are your parents forever. So when I saw this article, I latched onto performative grownassness as a useful goal. As long as it doesn't make me into an old-style Republican.
http://verysmartbrothas.com/the-democrats-are-led-by-fucking-grown-ups-and-the-gop-is-led-by-an-adolescent-cheeto/
* my mother does mild household chores, and so do the paid caregivers, but there seems to be a never-ending list of tasks that fall outside of those covered above. Yesterday I went to a laundromat to clean my father's coverlet. Something about his nerve damage makes him feel cold all the time. Even though it is 78-80 degrees F in their house in the summer (the compromise temperature between the coolness my mother wants and the heat my father wants), he sleeps under a coverlet, bedspread, and throw. He may perceive himself as cold, but his body is aware that it's hot under there, and he sweats a lot. Their washing machine is not big enough for a coverlet. Just as an example of the things I do when I visit every couple of weeks. Of course it's way easier than my life would be if my parents couldn't afford the caregivers, who have quirks,to say the least, but the agency is basically reliable.
http://verysmartbrothas.com/the-democrats-are-led-by-fucking-grown-ups-and-the-gop-is-led-by-an-adolescent-cheeto/
* my mother does mild household chores, and so do the paid caregivers, but there seems to be a never-ending list of tasks that fall outside of those covered above. Yesterday I went to a laundromat to clean my father's coverlet. Something about his nerve damage makes him feel cold all the time. Even though it is 78-80 degrees F in their house in the summer (the compromise temperature between the coolness my mother wants and the heat my father wants), he sleeps under a coverlet, bedspread, and throw. He may perceive himself as cold, but his body is aware that it's hot under there, and he sweats a lot. Their washing machine is not big enough for a coverlet. Just as an example of the things I do when I visit every couple of weeks. Of course it's way easier than my life would be if my parents couldn't afford the caregivers, who have quirks,to say the least, but the agency is basically reliable.
